Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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