So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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