Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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