Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
