If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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