i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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