Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
