We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize