you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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