doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
