just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
