if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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