so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
