don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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