That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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