I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
