Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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