You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
