I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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