Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
