By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
