i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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