I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
