a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
