It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
