No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
