Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
