problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
