We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
