maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
