A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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