There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
