hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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