Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
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Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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