she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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