around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
