I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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