Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
