marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
