are you still at the devil's house?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
