she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
