please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
