So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
