I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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