This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
