2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
