don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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