He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
