just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
