Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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