I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
