hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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