I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
