She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
