I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
