So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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