I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Congratulations! We have a period
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