If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
