from now on my penis is your penis
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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