Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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