I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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