I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
