did you get engaged???
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Someone came in the potted fern
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
