this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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