when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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