tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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