we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize